All 39 game Reviews


Larry And The Gnomes Larry And The Gnomes

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Well played.

The will hopefully sweep this week as it deserves to. It was clean and smooth and playing it on my stupidly fast computer on high quality had no problems obviously, made me a bit snarky while playing, but who cares right?

It was graphically beautiful, for a game it's one of the top quality that newgrounds has, only thing i'd say is that only the town had the peripheral random occurrences that i had hoped would be part of the entire game, (birds flying through the forest, gnomes mining in the background or something) but it sadly was not. Laziness that seems to have just been time spent on making sure the game ran smoothly.

As for the bosses, only edit i'd say is to make the boar guy get damaged more, by that time you probably only have a 17 or so damaging weapon, and still The Freak (or whatever he was) died faster to hands only than the boar dude did to the 17 attack weapon i juggled with the spears.

Regardless, since everyone will be looking for the long review with tips, i'll be the newest one.

TIPS FOR BOSSES 2-4, SINCE 1 IS BASICALLY HACK AND SLASH BEFORE YOU DIE.

Boss 2:
Strat is simple
1) be on the OTHER side by a long shot of where he's charging, stay up top.
screen start shaking for his charge, head towards him and down, this will ensure a spear is thrown at you and it will miss if you hold toward/down.
2) pick up the spear, wait for the boar to be in sight, then throw it at him and it will stun him, with a slow weapon you get in about 4 attacks, with a fast weapon (since you'll likely only have your fists) wait for the feet of the boar to start coming down and when they're about 45ยบ from the ground and seemingly about to stop for a split second move up and jump or he'll hurt you as much as if he'd have hit you.
3) if you do get hit, the bushes on either side drop health every 6th hit, watch out though since he may charge you in that time, don't get greed with the hits on the bush, the battle lasts a long fucking time.

Boss 3:
Really simple, really REALLY simple.
1) wait for fruit to be thrown at you, spam pickup
2) throw it at the dude, he'll eat and you whack at him
3) when he jumps, go to the other side
4) when he charges, sprint long jump over him
5) that's it, do that until he dies
6) if you ever get hit spam the rage button and make him jump again, you'll have a chance to dodge it that time, you can only do this once per battle

Boss 4:
1) the room before him doesn't get shut off, if you loose health, go in it, the boss retreats and stays in his room while you restore health.
2) dodge an attack THEN go in to attack, don't force attacks, he'll win.
3) take advantage of rage and infinite health upgrades every time and just whack at him the entire time. He. Takes. A. Lot. Of. Hits.
4) be patient, if you get close and he does the thing where he jumps and you're too close, it's a 1 shot.
5) BE PATIENT, HIT HIM UNTIL HE DIES and finally
6) enjoy the ending :)


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Griswold the Goblin 2 CH1 Griswold the Goblin 2 CH1

Rated 5 / 5 stars

:|...

So i pick up the lumberjack juice and suddenly...... It's not there.

It isn't in the inventory or anything, it was just picked up, the auto-save occurred, and then bam it was gone.

Is this an issue with myself only? Because it was quite odd for an item to just magically disappear before i even have the chance to see where it was located.

As for the game itself, you know you did a great job there's no need to get on my knees over it.


Phantasmagor responds:

(Response by Chris)

I'll have Casper look into that. We haven't had that problem happen before. Did you by any chance not realized you used the mouth on it? Because then you would have drank it.


Pandemic: EoM Pandemic: EoM

Rated 5 / 5 stars

My god these people are absolute fucking idiots.

Seriously, the people reviewing your game are all complete twats.

All i keep reading over and fucking over is "Oh the first is so much better," "Oh it's SOOOO much harder" yadda yadda yadda.

They're all game pansies obviously, the first one was a good idea, but a horrible game in the sense that it was too easy, WAY too easy, this one is a challenge. You don't just have to PLAY, you have to PLAY TO WIN, or else you'll never defeat 100% of the human race like I did yesterday when it first popped up. (After 8 losing games of course, but that's because it isn't easier than a red-light slag)

Graphics - Who really cares? People are caring about this too? The interface is much better looking and the modification error in the first game isn't just FIXED, it's completely redone and done about 20x better. Yet none of that REALLY MATTERS since this game isn't about how it looks, it's about the gameplay. Graphics whores once again have decided to tick me off.

Style - Beautiful, i'll say again, infinately better than the first in the sense that you actually had to TRY to win. You had to use strategy, you HAD to lose, to know how to win, and you had to understand the RNGs of the game and percentages of certain occurances or you were fucked from the beginning.

Sound - It's a good song, I would've loved a mute button ... that is, had the song gotten annoying, but it didn't since it really fit the mood of the game, rather sinister, good choice.

Violence - ... You killed the entire human race, this 10 is kind of a joke in that there's no "real" violence, but the imagined violence is just lovely.

Interactivity - At the end of this review I'll give tips to all the fags that can't really seem to see how easy this game is once you take some time to strategize, and how hard it is to learn (which is why you're getting bad reviews btw, because these idiots won't TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN)

Humor - None.

Overall - 10 because it's a great game, plain and simply, i haven't reviewed ANYTHING in months and this made me want to, congratulations.
-------
****TIPS FOR YOU FAGS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH "BETTER" THE FIRST ONE IS****

-On the first turn, shoot your virus to 1,3,1. Period, press end hoping your original 10% populace isn't killed.

-Then try to spread the virus within the original country, if you have ANYTHING BUT Greenland (GL) or the South Pacific (SP) then get about 5/10th, if you have one of them get all the people sick no matter WHAT.

*SPLIT IN TIP: FIRST ONE IS FOR ISLAND COUNTRIES, THEN THE CONNECTED CONTINENTS*

-Islands countries, once you get all 100%, immediately attack airports with all your points until it works, then pray it lands onto a combocontinent rather than ... the same continent. From here on out, follow the combocontinent Guide below.

-Now, if you're on Eurasiafrica or the Americanada combonation (or just infected one) you'll have your 5/10, it's time to upgrade to 2,3,2.

Afterwards, try to spread to a new country, this seems to have a 1/4th chance of happening, so hopefully you don't waste too many points.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER INFECTING 10% OF THE POPULATION, waste all your points on spreading until you have 100% (make sure to do this soon for your first country btw), only after you get 100% should you move to the next country.

Only after infecting your ENTIRE combocontinent should you affect airports, the % for these are right below.

*GENERAL TIPS*
-Ignore attacking cures, once you get 100% infection of a country the cure will stop being made PERIOD.
-Ignore water plants, spreading does it much better, and quicker with a higher % of working.
-Try to Infect airports in areas with high amounts of people remaining, it's chances of working are determined by the people alive in the area.
-If you infect 1 airport, infect more with remainder points (assuming you have 100% infection in all current areas) and don't fret when you land in an already infected country, you'll hit a new one eventually. (just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Yeah, PM me if you want more tips, I actually know what i'm doing



Poke SBC! Poke SBC!

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I did it like 20 times :)

Also i poked his special area, I KNOW WHY THAT X WAS THERE, it was to censor out his extremely large penis, which is what distracted people when they voted on B, haha nah, I like the CC, good flashes when it's not some fake there to piss people off heh. Anyways, good drawing as always meng, i liked it :)

SBC review.
5/5 THE END


Muffin responds:

belly button sexings.


System of a Down Balls System of a Down Balls

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I had the vertically thing in the other one

but this one it throws at angles really nicely :). though i hate SOAD, i liked this one of the submissions of the ball things the best because the balls didn't stop so easily, in the others they were too sticky, this one they are like all liek WOAH flyin everywhere and it made me happy, BECAUSE NORMALLY MYLIFE IS A TERRIBLE BLACK ABYSS OF PAIN AND MISERY. thanks meng i won't cut tonight thanks to you :'(. So here you are :D another review
5/5 THE END


API responds:

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Nirvana Balls 2 Nirvana Balls 2

Rated 5 / 5 stars

It's well and good

I have to make sure to make this a nice review with no meaness so that hardcore muthafucka littlewashi doesn't flag me LOL DUD SHE'S SO COOL. lalala this is an alright submission/sequal ...thing but the descriptions get cut off GOSH, why did you allow that GOSH.
SORRY didn't mean to be so MEAN, oh cwutididtherewiththedoubleuseofmeani'mcool.
5/5 THE END


API responds:

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Nirvana Balls Nirvana Balls

Rated 5 / 5 stars

excuse me sir.

But is your refridgerator running, because your brain sure isn't OH ICE COLD. either way this was an alright flash, as you said
geier103: FBF collection is terrible
geier103: along with everything that's not SL7 and FPA
But i'm not going to like, post that in my review or anything just because it's true <3
5/5 THE END


API responds:

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Shroomfield Shroomfield

Rated 5 / 5 stars

That was some trippy shit

Half of what happened was like it would be in a scare flash. It was like ... srsly wtfjusthappenedhere type stuff. Either way I hope you make sure that there's a seizure warning SOMEWHERE in those comments *WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE* because you don't want to be liable for biotches fuckin flippin when they have a seizure after watching this BAD HIPPO :).

5/5 THE END


BlueHippo responds:

bonusstage is on drugs RIGHT now. <3

(review responce+1)


7 Kisses 7 Kisses

Rated 5 / 5 stars

HEY GUYS CHECK OUT MEH COOL SITE

Jk ):<. Anyways I remember that in this game there is just one secrety you must know to unlock EVERY LAST freaking thing that their is. Allow me a few seconds to go re-find it. Well it's in the curly Q of the 7 at the top 7 on the main screen. It'lll unlock all songs, girls, and clothes for you to fuck with. So there you go my little hentais ;) 5/5 THE END


Lots of people find this review helpful!
Denvish responds:

stp haxxoring mi gaim


Mission: Midwinter Mission: Midwinter

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Excuse me sir.

Yet this is quite a nice game, it makes my pants scream for more because I roll hardcore. Now, JSYK I sucked at playing it, because I GUESS i wasn't good at checking the height THINGS even though it really wasn't that hard, but since I'm a damn gangster I persevered and let the current champion keep him score since obviously I could've beaten it, AGAIN, because I'm a gangster.
5/5 THE END ):<


Denvish responds:

THAT IS CORRECT
I stole this game from eBaums